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Message from: ash - 20 Oct 03

Subject: my life went to hell

My Dad died last June. I am 15 years old. In the space of 12 week my life wet to pot. we had just bought a big house and we have not even lived in it my dad died of a one in a million heart problem my mum went in to depretion and i felt like she was taking me with her she tryed to comite suiccide and she wrote a letter saying to give me and my little sister 25 grand into my and her bank like 25 grand would eaqual not having a mother i feel like i have been tourn away from most of my family some of them thingk i can take it all because my sister is only 6 but i have my problem also my mum i think is slowly coming to terms with it she treats me like a 10 year old some times some time awever much i try i carnt make every one happy even if im not i had to secretly had to try to see family/girl friend sometime.feel like there now hope for a normal life

Subject: thats terrible

that sounds really terrible wat u and ur family went through i hope i never have to go through that coz i dont know wat i would do but it is nice to know that ur mum is recovering and i hope she gets to full recovery soon

Subject: (no subject)

I had a similar experience to you, my dad died when I was 15 too, for a long time people around me reacted differently coz they didn't now how to deal with me and what to say. My mum was in so much grief herself, she completely lost herself and treated me and my sister strangely, swinging from one extreme to another, being totally unpredictable. It's hard sometimes but I tried to emphasise with her, she's been with dad for more than 20 years! I think part of the reason your mum treated you like a 10 year old is that she's feeling helpless and she's afraid of losing you as well. Don't feel bad if you can't make her happy no matter how hard you're trying, it's not your fault what happened, the only thing that'll make it better is time (cliche i know). It seems hellish now but hang in there and things will get better. It takes a while to get the family back together, I know that after 5 years my mum has become so much wiser and understanding to me coz we know we've got thru this together, you gotta let the grief sink in and don't ever give up on each other.

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