message board
message no. 1602
| Message from: joey, 19/08/07 |
| Subject: my dad died and im having trouble
my dad died nearly 3 months ago and since then my mum and i started to have arguments and we'd always never get on with each other.she always tells people we know that how bad and blames everything on me but my 2 litle sisters get away with it. ok i know they're young cos one of them is seven and the other is four, but why is it everything on me? but everytime i tried to answer back, it seems that it backfires at me. i dont know what to do, my mum doesnt accept me saying sorry(so i gave up on that idea). please help me.
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| Reply from: Elle 22/08/07 |
Subject: No subject
Reading your message was strange because what is happening with you is with me too.
Me and my Mum argue all the time since my Dad died 3 months ago and when I try to apologise, she throws it back in my face.
Have you ever heard the saying "You hurt those you love the most"?
I think that's what is happening.
Time is probably the only healer here and although it's hard, you need to be strong.
Maybe try sitting your Mum down and explain that you are hurting too and you want to help her rather than argue.
Hope this helps.
My thoughts are with you.
Elle x
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| Reply from: joey |
Subject : thank you!
hey thanks soo much for your help! i hope things will get on well with you.
xxxx
joey
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| Reply from: Jen |
Subject : Arguing
Whats happening here is normal. It happened to me. I have a younger sister and when we lost my Dad, my Mum fell to pieces. I remember cooking tea and doing my best to 'fill his shoes' and look after them both. This my Mum denies. Your Mum has lost her 'right arm' the person she chose to spend her life with and she is probably confused and hurting. You need to tell her how you feel and tell her you need to be there for each other. Shes lashing out because you are the one she feels safe to do that with - she probably holds it all together infront of everyone else. She needs an outlet, just as much as you do. Its ok to be angry, to be terrified and to be in pain. But just remember you are hurting too and in a different way, because your parents are the ones who are always supposed to be there and all of a sudden he's not. Take care folks, it's good to talk. xxx
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| Reply from: shane |
Subject : dad died and i want to 2
please help me my dad died and i ant slept for about 3 years and i realy cant go on please i need to talk to someone (please reply)
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| Reply from: jennifer |
Subject : shane -
Have you seen the doctor - he or she will be able to organise some counselling for you, and if you can't sleep maybe some herbal stuff will help (tablets help, but try something natural first, the local chemist will be able to recommend what to try.) Talking about how you feel is good, so is having a good cry. My guess is that you have been hiding how you feel. When anyone asks how you are, bet you keep saying "ok ". Well stop it, it is ok to admit you are NOT ok. Bet you'll be surprised at how many people will do their best to help you once they know how you've been struggling - expect those closest to you to be mortified that you haven't told them, and blame themselves for not realising.Grief is something which affects everyone differently - and everyone has a different way of coping - remember you are not alone. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself, things will get better.
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