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Message from: B 14/08/07

Subject: comlicated family

My mum and dad past away over 4 years ago, 2 years in between them both dying and I now live with my step-dad (my mum and dad split when I was 3, and she re-married before she died) And I’ve always found it really hard to cope, I’m currently on anti depressants and I self harm, I tried to O.D a few months back, and my auntie found out and went mad at me (I am very close to my auntie) saying I was being selfish, anyway a few weeks later I found out that my auntie had been sectioned after she tried to kill herself (she suffers from bi-polar), I was livid with her after all she had said to me and then she goes and tries it and she has FIVE KIDS to think about, and she calls me the selfish one.
Then last night I found out that my cousin had tried to O.D and she told me she was thinking of trying drugs and I don't know if she is just doing all this because she wants attention or if I and her mum have put the idea of suicide into her head. I Just don't know what to do, she has only told me because she said she dint want and help and she doesn’t' want to tell her mum and she also said she doesn't want to get better. She has just got me so confused, in a way I want her to be doing it for attention because I’m hoping she's not going down that road because it hurts so much and it's so hard to get out of feeling that way once you're stuck.
And as far as the drug thing goes, do people just decide on the spare of the moment that they want to do drugs?!? None of her friends do drugs, no family members do it so I don’t know what has put the idea in her head, or if she’s just doing it for attention.

Please I just need some-ones advise because I’m so messed up