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Message from: Charlotte, posted 07/08/07

Subject: I lost my grandad...

I lost my grandad in 1996 although i was only 4 i still remember it, people think because i was that young i dont feel sad over it but the fact is i cry a lot of the time in my room where no1 can here me. Crying while writing this makes me feel desperate to hear his voice again. I feel desperate to see him.. he was such a kind person and i miss him so so so much he was my hero and i love him so so much. He was only 60 and he didnt deserve to die from cancer... i wish i died instead of him but i know he's with me and would be so proud of me with everything i do. The memories stay in your head and i know i shall never forget them, they're special to me and nobody can take them away. I sometimes think why does it happen to me?... he was my only grandad really i wasn't born when my first grandad dies.. but i know i love him too..........

...... Im only 15 but i feel so much pain, i sometimes feel guilty that i could'nt do anything to stop the cancer from killing him..... I just dont know what to do..... they say it gets easier but he died nearly 11 years ago and i still feel the same pain when i first found out my grandad who used to take me to the park died. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND NEVER WILL STOP.. HE WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART XXX