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Message from: izzy - 01 Oct 03

Subject: mum

hi.
my mum died 6 years ago now and i have just started feeling really depressed again about it. i mean its horrible thinking about how ive grown up and she hasnt been here and now as i am approaching 15 i want my mum back more than ever and i dont know who to talk to about it. i think my friends are little embarassed when i bring up the subject. at school i hear evryone else talking about their mums and sometimes about how they are never going to speak to their mums again for something really petty and i feel like crying and shouting at them about how lucky they are.
and also last year the drunk driver that killed her got out of jail. i dont think i have ever hated anyone more and yet i feel that maybe i should have forgiven him. lastly recently in gcse philosophy alot of people in my class have said that they think switching off a life support machine is the same as murder. mum was on one and we had to make the decision about switching it off . i has made me feel pretty bad.
i dont know what to do about how i feel.
has anyone got any advice?
luv izzy

Subject: Mum

Hi,
Izzy i just thought i'd let you know you're not on your own!!
It's strange but you've said basically everything that was in my mind!
I've been trying to find someone who has dealt with the same thing as me for ages!!!
I've just started Y11 in school and it's been 8 and a half years since my mum died!!!
I will say that i am sorry to hear that your mum was killed!!! My mum died of a brain hemerage!
Don't feel bad about the life support machine - it had to be done! Me and my dad had to do the same! I wouldn't want my mum to have gone through any more pain than what she already had and i'm sure you feel the same way too!!
I know it's hard and everyday's a struggle, but you have to try and get on with things!! Just think of what your mum would want you to do!! She'd want you to do well and live your life to the full!
Things can get you down some times!! Trust me - i've gone through another three deaths in my family in the space of my mum dying - to now. The most recent was my step mum this year!! I've had to keep picking myself up all of the time and it's took a bit to regain my strength, but it has been done!!!
Things do get easier with time, but you also have to want things to get easier too!!
Look to the future, not into the past! Move on - i'm not saying forget your mum (that can't be done!) live your life - just keep her close to your heart!
Look after yourself Izzy!!!
Will be thinking about you!
Loadza Luv!
Katie!
xXxXxXx

Subject: katie

hiya katie.
thanks very much 4 the reply.
it sounds like u havent had a very nice time recently. u sound like your copeing really well though!
i am in year 10 @ school. such fun!
ne way thanks 4 replying and if u ever wanna talk then i will!
luv u lots
izzy

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