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Message from: Anna, 20 May 07

Subject: mum died/ dad having trouble

My mum died about six months ago. I'm 17 as well and it has been tremendously difficult to cope with. I understand what your going through. my mum and i were incredibly close. I feel annoyed, angry,and jealous of other people who live normal and undisturbed lives.
my dad is also thinking of remarrying which is even more of a load to take on. I have quite a few siblings so this is probably one of the major reasons. We aren't getting that much help because my gran's a bit dysfunctional and my cousin's family is a bit too snobby/concerned with themselves.
I don't think my dad has had time to greive properly? I think he needs someone to help, and sees this as the only solution. I can understand how he feels in some respects but I find it quite hurtful that he is considering someone else, even if he doesn't mean for it to be.
He is looking for a magic person to come along and solve everything but i know it would completely ruin everything. It is too early and im not sure how my younger siblings would cope.
If anyone knows how help can be found/advice/suggestions for babysitting help it would be much appreciated.

Subject: Dad having trouble

Hi. I don't know how old this message is, but actually it's a relief to know that i'm not alone. I am 20, i lost my mum only 2 months ago and my dad is already dating another woman. Unfortunately, i don't have any answers but i feel exactly as you do. It's his way of trying to deal with it and it's an extremely selfish way. He has become self obsessed, not even coming home for Father's Day as he was with this new woman. I understand that this is how he is coping but i am starting to lose it with him, the problem is he is so busy thinking he has lost his wife and deserves some happiness that he has completely forgotten that we have lost our mum.

Sorry, kind of felt i needed to get that off my chest - and i wanted you to know you are not on your own in this situation.

Subject: (no subject)

i know exactly how you feel. my mum died in october im 16. just a few months after not even two my dad found another women. i think that its lonlinees, he was married to my mum for 32 years, but i dont think he grieved properly either. i am finding it quite hard to deal with at the momenant, i had a lot of things to deal with since my mum died, so i can kind of relate to how you feel. i wanted people to understand how i felt but they didnt, i felt alone even though i wasnt really, i felt unloved becasue my mum played such a big part of my life, scared, angry at happy people, a whole lots of things. so if you want to talk 2 me feell free, i will always be here for you. libby xxxxxx