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message no. 147

Message from: Mrouge - 25 Sep 03

Subject: dad/GSCE's and life.....

i can't cope. i have just started my GSCE's and my dad death's 18 month's ago is really afecting me i really just wanna die and be with him. Also i can't tlk 2 my friends about it because i get upset and then they think i'm trying to get attention when i really need help. i can't get counselling cos i would feel embarassed. if n e 1 wants to chat 2 me or can help please do!!!!

Reply from: citizen x - 26 Sep 03

Subject: chin up

dear Mrouge
im sorry to hear about your dad,i het the feeling from you message that you were quite close to him and losing him must have been really hard.you said that you have started your gcses and that your dads death is starting to affect you but i dont quite understand is it your gcses that are making you think of your dad or do you just think of him in general?
when i person gets stressed they can feel like they are week and in your case they start thinking about loved ones they have lost and i think that is what is happening in your case. it is perfectly natural to feel the need to be with your father but you need to try and carry on woth your life and take thing one day at a time. i think you have done something positive by contacting this site coz you obviously want to get help just dont know how to. but there are several helplines you can call if you dont have anyone close to you that you feel comfortable with.i dont think that you should be embarrased about seeing a counseller and remember no-one has to know you are seeing one it is all private and confidetial but what ever you do decide to do you have to feel comfortable with it and feel you are doind it for the right reasons. i hope i have been of some help.

Reply from: em - 26 Sep 03

Subject: (no subject)

hey, sorry about your dad: it must seem like your friends don't care but it might be that they just don't know how to help. Try telling them how you feel, it might be easier to e-mail them or write a letter if you don't know how to talk about it + get upset whilst trying to express ur feelings.
em*

Reply from: kezzyanna - 05 Nov 03

Subject: (no subject)

i have been in the same postion, my dad did in 2001 and i have just got back my gcse results, but during them i had quite a lot on my mind, but u have to talk to people, i know it is hard, but it does help in the long term. i hope i have helped
kezs xxxx

Reply from:sophie

Subject: im kinda in ur position

hiya,im kinda of in ur position. well my dad died in 2001 and i was 12 and at the time i felt fine, but i dnt no wot it is but now im older it has started 2 hurt me soooo much more. like i av been thinkin abwt it 24/7 and literally yestursay i cudnt take ne more coz i am physically sick n depressed so i went 2 c the skwl councillor n i jus basically poured my heart out, n now i feel SO much beta. i am properly goin 2 seek futher help becoz i need sum1 2 tlk abwt it. Like u sed my friends look at me n act as if im attention seekin so i no how it feels 2 av no1 2 tlk 2! but jus avin 2 session wit the councillor n i already feel beta. N also i am lik u in feelin embaressed but the people are so lovely n friendly that it rely makes a difference. Please consider it.

Reply from:sophie

Subject: hi

hiya.. i can't say i am gay or that i understand, but i read your msg n thought it was very strong and brave of you 2 tell people your secret. Alot of people just keep it locked in and it becomes worse in the long run. Now dat ppl no, it mite become easier for them after a period of time to accept you. But as for your friends, it was proberly a big shock for them and they didn't no how to react but try and put on the big hard boy act, instead of trying to understand you and just accept you as still their friend! But it's times like these that you will see who is your friends and who isn't. They need to realise that your still the same person as you were before they knew. I hope this message kind of helped you.
p.s forgot to say, if one of your sister or both are close to you and you could trust them, then maybe it could be easier to tell them first and ask them what to do??

Reply from: samantha

Subject: (no subject)

hi i am in the same position as you - my dad died a couple of weeks ago, and i have my a levels this year. im finding it really hard to cope with work like you, but i talked to one of my friends and they were really good about it. no one will think your trying to get attention! just try and think of the good times and dont bottle anything up.

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