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Message from: Vicki, 06 Apr 07

Subject: A Year On

Three years ago my grandad passed away after a stroke. I dont think I really understood what was going on having never lost a loved one before.
February last year (2006) my nan passed away after a horrendous fight with cancer.
She died on the Tuesday and on the Sunday I went to see her. She was weak but seemed okay. The Tuesday she died.
I never got to say goodbye. I really miss her and I'm finding it harder rather than easier to cope. I dont want counselling or anything 'cause it doesn't work for me but if these feelings dont stop soon I'm going to do something severe (I'm already a self-harmer).
I dont know what to do.

Subject: hiya

i know its hard, self harming really is not the answer thou, trust me on that one.. 2 years my girlfriend died and that was hard for me as we had been together for 7 years sonce we was 7 :( then two weeks later my aunt died from a tuma, she had been living with for years, this effected me more that my family realised..but self harming and ODing really didnt help cause then youd wake up and things were still bad..the way i got through it was to rely on my friends who were really good and helped me..and try and move on and forget about it..i know that looks hard and i know you will never ever completely forget cause now asspecaily around easter i miss my nanny very much..

Counselling didnt work for me, just got me angry and upset, but i found chatting to some1 the same age was easier (when my ex died we set up a student counseeling thing cause it effected everyone) and that worked really well...just hang in and things will get better :)

Subject: I know how you feel

I know exactly how you feel, my boyfriend died this month and it feels like the only way out is to take your pain out on yourself or to kill yourself so it goes away, this might help you but it won't help your friends or relatives, you need to talk to somebody about how your feeling, I know everyone will be telling you this but it will help you to release your feelings and show everyone what your going through and that you need help but killing yourself isn't the way out, just think of what you'd be leaving.

Subject: dont do anything silly!

i no how u feel i saw my aunt on the Tuesday and then she passed away on the thursday! i was devastated! it will get better! I lost my aunty 10 months ago. i cant cope v well and i have already made a list of all the ways i could die without any pain. the only thing that stopped me was knowing that my family would feel awful, just as i do now, i dont want to ruin their lives. people love and care for you will miss you. Dont do it!