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Message from: shauna, 20 Mar 07

Subject: I lost my mum to cancer in december 06

i am only 16 and l have lost my mum too cancer. l feel like i cant cope with things anymore. i have to live with my step dad until i finish school later this year but he only wants me to stay with him so he can cliam money for me and he dont like the fact that i am going to live with my real dad when i leave school, he is trying to make me stay with him and go to college over were he is but i hav told him loads of imes that iam going to live with my dad, he does not like this because he will not get any money for me. i feel like this is stoping me from griefing probly, what should i do xxshaunaxx

Subject: Money

i know how u feel, i lost my mum n dad before i was a teenager and i live with my step-dad, i feel exactly the same way, my step-dad is in control of all my money and can take any out whenever he feels like it. He doesn't give me any pocket money i live of my EMA that i get at college, he has a new girlfriend and she just stirs things up. Hopefully i am goin 2 live with ma auntie soon. i suggest that you go with ur instinct and live with ur real dad, maybe you could go up in the hollidays and things. It's what i do woith ma aunties it help me cope with the fact that i am not livin with her yet, so maybe you should do the same. your step-dad will have to suck it up and realise that money isn't everythin!

Subject: (no subject)

i feel for you i really do. must be so hard...
to be honest id rather be with my dad...dont let any one make up your mind up. do whats right for you hun. hope ur alryt.. stef x

Subject: do it!

you've made up your mind and it seems to be the correct decision! this is especially true if you know (or even if you just supect) that your stepdad's main goal in having you there is for the money. even if there is a possibility for it to turn out that the money isn't his motivation, get out anyways! the mere thought of that sort of horrible thing is poison to you and your grieving process.

after such a loss you should think about your needs.