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message no. 143

Message from: JESS - 24 Sep 03

Subject: i was treated bad when he was alive

hi. my mum died when i was young from cancer. i cant really remember her but wat i do remember is all gud stuff. I lived wit my dad untill recently. he died he a car crash. my dad used to get drunk alot and take his anger out on me and my bro. he used to hit us and treat us really bad. we always went into skool wit brusies on r faces and all over we had to lie about how we got dem. Dad used to say it was all me and ric's fault. he told us he wud really make r lives not worth livin if we ever told. my teachers wud always ask and at 1 stage a social worker came around and interviewed us we lied and she left us dere . I was so scared of him and wat he wud do to me and bro.i used to wish he wud jst DIE. he made my bro my life hell for so long. Now he is dead and all i feel is relief (no more beatings when he came in a 3 in da mornin drunk). I know dat sounds really horrible. i miss him in a way. dis is da 1st time ive told any1 bout wat used to go on in r flat. He was a gud man but jst went to bits after my mums death. Ric and me r livin at a home now we ave no other family dat live in dis country, da home is OK.
in skool i run wild and am in constant trouble. I hate wat he did to me!! I need help but dnt know wat to do. He was my Dad and i loved him.i know shud talk to sum1 but it is so so so so so hard.Me and ric ave a social worker she is nice.
thanx 4 readin dis its helped to get it all out of my head
THANX
Jess : )

Reply from: chrissie - 08 Oct 03

Subject: stay strong

i cant believe what you've been through and for you to still be here today is an acomplishment itself. I cant say that iv been through what u have but i have been through hell myself and no that it always helps to find someone you can trust so that you can talk to them. i only have a few people who i can talk to but it still helps. never give up because - you're important!

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