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Message from: Natalie, 15 Mar 07

Subject: Best Friend/ Boyfriend

Its been 2 months since my boyfriend was killed in a car accident. At times I don't know what the hell I am doing, it seems as though it was only yesterday when he was taking away from me. He wasn't just my boyfriend he was my best friend he meant the world to me, and now that he is gone it feels as though absolutey nothing makes since. He died the weekend before Christmas which made the holiday season more harder. Our songs play and I get weak at the knees and tears fill my eyes. He was the love of my life and in an instant he was gone with no warning. I would give anything for just one more moment with him. Life seems so empty and dark I don't know where to turn. I don't won't to be sad for him I think of our good times, but its hard to find someone who understands where I am coming from. Its a pain that I personally thought that I would never have to feel, and when I did he crushed me. Its a pain I can't describe it hurts in a place that I didn't think you could hurt, and the tears come just as fast. I miss him I love him. And I don't know what to do. I grew up with him, and the past 2yrs we had finally got to us...but how do you deal with something that you don't want to let go, because you LOVE them soo much. I am scared to lose memories of us I am scared that one day I will wake up and he won't be the first thing I think about. What do I do when I have NO where to turn? Please help!