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message no. 142

Message from: Edward Bowkett - 22 Sep 03

Subject: Life is so unfair!!

Hi my name is ed and i was adopted when i was only 6yrs old along with my sister,who was 3 at the time. We then moved from foster home to foster home resulting in me being split up with my sister for a short period of time. The my future Mum and Dad came to visit us both and they both decided to take us into their care. At this stage i was about 9 yrs old. My future dad, Bob Bowkett was in the Royal Marines. About 6 weeks later my dad had to go to Northern Ireland to sort out the peace their. months later he came back but he was different. It was then in a couple of weeks later that we found out that my dad had cancer in the stomach and that the doctors only predicted 6 weeks. So we waited for the news, as we were in boarding schools at the time. But Daddy was a fighter until the end. It would be two years before he was finally succumbed to it. We had loads of fun though in those two years and Daddy got promoted to Brigadier which is one below General. After he died i was particuly hurt because daddy and i were so close. Then after about two months when we had started new schools and everything Mummy had back pains and suddenly didnt feel well. She went into hospital and came out saying that she had to have an operation on her ovaries as 'This was the time to have them out' So she went in and when she came out we knew she was seriously ill. A couple of weeks later she told us that she had Bowel cancer. We assumed my sis and i that it would be like daddy but far from it 5 weeks later she was in a hospice seriously ill in which she never came out. I am now living with my auntie and uncle and am still lost and wandering as they were my backbones and now i go to a different school and have got my Gcses next year so if anyone whos had or got the same problem just remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE Thanks for reading this edxxx

Reply from: Alexis - 24 Sep 03

Subject: Ed

Hi Ed,
I wanted to say thanks for sharing your story. I've lost both of my parents too so I understand some of how you feel. I think you are a really strong individual expressing yourself the way you do.

I also wanted to let you know about a telephone helpline for adopted young people, they arent just there to talk about adoption, you can talk about anything you want. In case you feel you may need it at any time, here's the number: 0808-808-1234, it's called TALK Adoption. It's for young people of any age so maybe you could pass the number on to your sister too.

Also, if you feel you could do with some support from this board, I check it regularly and would be happy to write back to you.

Take care of yourself,
xx :-)

Reply from: edd - 30 Sep 03

Subject: thanks Alexis

Thanks alot mate i really appreciate it as i've had noone to talk to about my problems before so its a bit of a new experience thanks again!!

Reply from: Freddie - 30 Sep 03

Subject: ed

edd keep strong luv from your sis

Reply from: Alexis - 01 Oct 03

Subject: Ed

No problem mate, let me know how you get on! Take care and send my best to your sis!
Alexis :-) xxx

Reply from: chris - 26 Nov 03

Subject: perspective

i think that everyone who has read this message and anyone who has lost a member of family or friends knows your pain and also knows that there is hope for them because of you. Your life has been much harsher than anyone i know and people often think that they have to hold it in. I havn't personally experienced the loss of a family member, however my parents ARE splitting up and initially i found ir dificult to talk 2 m8s at school. HOWEVER, talking to your friends and making new friends can be the most positive thing to come out of trauma and, although it may feel right, keeping it all inside ISN'T always right

Reply from: edd - 12 Dec 03

Subject: chris

i know how u feel chris but u have to relise that friends are the greatest thing if u want to talk to them so just tell them ure problems

Reply from: Rosemary

Subject : Your wonderful father
Dear Ed,
I was shattered to read your message. I know that your father was one of the most wonderful men and that you and your sister would have meant the world to him in the too short time you were with him. I'm sure you had some of the happiest times with him and even though 8 years have passed, I hope you remember all the fun you had. Take good care. Well done for all you have achieved. xx

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