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Message from: emmysmelly, 19 Nov 06

Subject: my best friend bev

i lost my friend bev in august, i was on holiday with my boyfriend, i feel so guilty, like i was never there for her when she needed me, like i was never a good enough friend to her.
i have this feeling i cant describe, i hate god for taking her, i feel like im the only one of her friends that still feels like this, ive tried everything but i cant stop crying.
me n my boyfriend are arguing and i cant take it i just want her back, if she'd never got in the car, if shed just spent more time on her hair as usual, i want to hold her, hug her tell her i miss her and make everything normal again, i can't talk to anyone connected to bev, i dont want to write to her mum or fiance in case i mess things up for them, i dont want to hurt anyone like im hurting.
if u read this and feel the same as me over a friend reply. please.
thankyou xxxx