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Message from: eliza, 13 Nov 06

Subject: (no subject)

my mum died last year, just over. now its coming up to my birthday , and my heart hurts. i want mum to be there, and everything to be how it was. also at school everyone talks about christmas and borthdays and their parents and it hurts me. i want everything how it was. and also, i dont really like myself. i just want to be someone eles, someone who doesnt make everyone's lives harder. and i cant be that person, i cant be a brilliant daughter and i cant ,i cant , i cant. i dont like it here anymore. i want to get out , out of everything. i want to die. that would be so nice. death. nothing, the end. but i cant do that either . everyone says i cant and it would make them sad. but i make people sad when im alive. oh well.