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message no. 125

Message from: cris - 11 Aug 03

Subject: loosing my brother

Hi
was just looking for someone to talk to, I lost my brother nearly 16 years ago to suicide when I was 10, but have never really been able to speek to someone with out trying to pretend I'm fine about it.

Reply from: Jodie - 12 Aug 03

Subject: 4 cris

Hi
I lost my sister in November 2002 from cancer. I have never been able 2 talk 2 someone cos as soon as she died, my mum got cancer and my little brother got Alapisha (when ur hair, eyebrows and eyelashes fall out.) I have never been able 2 talk 2 anyone cos i have 2 keep strong 4 them. My sister was 35yrs old wen she died and we were so close. I can't say that i understand how u feel cos ur bro and my sis died in different circumstances. It must have been so hard 4 u 2 loos ur bro like that. Wiv my big sister we new 2 was a 50/50 chance but its still a shock. I'm so scared of loosing my little brother cos he is only 5yrs old and we have just found out that its a 50/50 chance 4 him AND a 50/50 chance 4 my mum. I always feel so depressed cos i feel so unlucky. I cum from a big family and now hav 4 brothers and now 1 sister. I hav already lost my sister. I don't want 2 loose any1 else. Most of my family live in America cos thats were i'm from so i feel even more depressed because i am so far away wiv them. If u don't mind me askin but was ur bro unhappy? Do u no why he took his own life? It must hav been so hard 4 u and still must be. U can talk 2 me wen ever u want ok? I might not no how it feels loosing someone in that way but i do no how it feels loosing someone who u love. U might never get over ur borther death like me but u need 2 let ur feelings out since that can make u feel so much better. Remember. Theres nothing wrong wiv letting ur feelings threw. My sister was married wiv 2 kids who were only 2yrs old and 8 months old. Its harder 4 them as well as us. My brother has Alapisha caused by stress and depression. He can't handle all this around him. Do have any advice 4 me? I need 2 help look after my family but after myself as well. If u need 2 talk 2 me about ur brother then i'm always here.
Love Jodie
p.s. take care
xxx

Reply from: mich - 12 Aug 03

Subject: loosing my bro.

My brother died just before christmas(17th Dec. 2002) he commited suicide (drug overdose), this week we scattered his ashes into the sea in Jersey(he was born there)

Reply from: cris - 14 Aug 03

Subject: (no subject)

hello
thank you jodie for your reply, I'm sorry to hear of all you are putting up with it sounds very painful, in response to you question, my brother had a problem with blushing, he was at puberty stage and thing wern't that great around family life. I don't mean to sound crap but the best thing you can do is be yourself around your familly and friends even if that means being weak, as I have spent 14 yrs putting on a brave face and looking after evryone else and your no use to anyone when you wear yourself out. My flat mate has just lost his dad to cancer his mum and his nan have got it too and I feel the best thing they are doing is being honest with each other about their feelings because most of the workd fell down its just no one likes to admit it, that anoying word pride seems to get in the way. I hope things go o.k for you. one thing I found was to write my brother a letter to get the things out of my head, and accepting that its o.k to feel like shit but it doesn't last for ever.
in reply to mich, the pain will never go, but it gets easier, your brother left his pain behind rather than taking it with him the same as mine, but you need to accept that your life is greatly important too and you deserve to see it through the pain will lessen, keep your chin up and as I said before try writing a letter to him tell him how you feel about what he's done, its worth a try. take care
Cris x

Reply from: - 01 Sep 03

Subject: (no subject)

im so sorry about your brother. my best friend comited suicide im november last tear, and it's his birthday on friday 5th(he would have been 15) and i feel like my world is falling apart. Ive been moved away to america from the rest of my family, including my twin brother who i am very close to, as my mum has just contracted cancer. you should try talkin it over wit the rest of your family and see if it makes u feel ne better.

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