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Message from: KAt, 10 Oct 06

Subject: mum

I lost my mum on the 26th August, i feel so so so numb, i have turned to alcohol which i know is wrong but i cant find a way out of this pain. She was diagnosed with Cancer just 6 weeks ago, the night before she died i was in hospital for a operation i spoke to her and she was fine!! she wasnt terminal!!!! Im only 24, my husband left me 2 weeks before that he couldnt handle the presssure as he was from turkey. I never thought a heart could physicaly feel like this, it hurts! I cant sleep and im so angry i got there 1 minute after she went, she wa asking for me, im her only child. I feel like i cant go on anymore the only thing keeping me going is my 5 year old daughter, who my mum adored! and now she wont see her growing up! If she wasnt here i would have gone with my mum.

Subject: your mum

hi there

i can understand how you feel. i lost my mum just over a year ago. she was and alcoholic and i nursed her as she was dying. i dont think i will ever get over losing her, no one can replace your mum. i wish i could give words of support, but nothing anyone says can take away the pain or missing her. I dont want the pain to stop sounds strange but i never want to stop missing her, stop wishing she was here. So many things have happened to me since she died, i graduated moved in with my boyfriend, became a teacher, all of which she would be proud of. so i will always cry because i love her and i never will stop loving her and she will always be with me as your mum will be with you, god bless.