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message no. 122

Message from: Amy

Subject: Older Brother

Hi,
I'm new here, even though my loss is nearly 3 years ago now. I lost my older brother in a coach accident in August 2000. With it being almost 3 years now, I am realising the increasing struggle I am having in remembering details about him, like his voice and smile etc. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how I can slow this? I have tried a memory book, but I found I started it a bit too late, and as a result I am only able to remember certain things. It is starting to get to me as he was and still is very much a huge part of my life. And yet I cant help but think I am forgetting…

I am trying everyday to live my life to the maximum, and get the most out of things. I know Chris will be watching me and helping me along, but I still find myself struggling at points with the painful emptiness in my life. Have any of you done anything on the anniversaries or birthday’s of your loved one that has helped you partially? Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read this
Take care
Amy

Reply from: * - 05 Aug 03

Subject: brothers

my friends brother died 3 years ago and evry year on the aniversary she watches his favourite film, Ferris Buellers day off. she says she can picture him smilin and sometimes hear him laughin at his favorit bits.

Reply from: Ali - 05 Aug 03

Subject: (no subject)

I feel like I can hardly remember anything about my dad even though it was only a few months since he died. I have been told that your mind hides memories which are too upsetting until a later date when you are more able to cope with them. So perhaps you will start remembering more about your brother later. The memories are still there somewhere.

Reply from: mich - 12 Aug 03

Subject: birthdays

My brother died at xmas and on his birthday I sung 'Happy birthday' to him in a strange way it helped

Reply from: cris - 14 Aug 03

Subject: memories

hello

something I have learned about memories is that you will push memories down deep as a protective mechanism and unless you knew a person was going to die life with a loved one would have just been a normal day and we don't remeber much about normal days so its always good to remeber good specific memories and feel proud and also with time smells and sites with jog those deep memories and bring them to the forfront. Asking familly to talk about days out and things is also a good way to jog the memory and deal with some issues.

Cris x

Reply from: kin - 18 Dec 03

Subject: Brother

Hi i have read your message and you sound like you are in the same situation as me. My brother died in a tragic accident, three years ago on 7th January, and it still feel like it is yesterday. i am struggleing to understand why it happened.
I try and think of all of the good times, and watch his favourite films, like quadrophinia and listen to his music, the beatles and oasis.try and listen to some of your brothers faviourate music or look at photos.
I hope you are feeling ok.
I hope it helps

Reply from:Kiara

Subject:Sorry

I am ever so sorry 2 hear that. :-(

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