| Subject: My mum
Hey,
Finally it seems i've found somewhere where other people have
experienced what i have, or something similar.I don't seem to
feel so alone anymore.I'm 15.A year and 1 month ago my mum died
from Lung Cancer which eventually spread to all parts of her body
and she left me.
My dad and i looked after her until the end. On the day before
she died she couldn't talk, and it was awful, i just wanted her
to tell me she loved me again.My mum was the one person who knew
me the best, she proberbly knew me better than i knew myself.
Now it feels like there's nobody, i'm just blank inside. i hate
it, and i can't get rid of the feeling. My dad's got a girlfriend
now,i don't get much attention from my dad anymore (hugs and the
general)it's like i'm on my own constantly.It's hard because i
just want my mum, i dont want to be around my dad's girlfriend
and i have to really force myself to be around her. It's not that
i don't like her, i just don't want her there at the moment.
I held mum's hand on the day she died, i felt the body temperature
slowly sinking, she was getting colder and colder, i couldn't
hold back my tears anymore, they had been long awaited, and they
were pouring down my face. My life has never been the same since,My
school work has got worse, and i used to be that little angel
but now i've just got worse, and i know i need to change but i
feel i need to talk about all of this before i do. I'm slowly
messing my life up, and i leave school in less than a year, with
no idea what i'm going to do, or where i'm going to end up. I
just wish my mum would come back, sometimes i think she has just
gone on a long holiday and will come back. But deep down i know
that's not true. Please write back soon. xx
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