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message no. 1064

Message from: becca , 10 Apr 06

Subject: my nana

my nan died and i was very close to her i wish i had one more minute every min of my day the night she died i was thinking shes not dead it cant be it felt like my whole world was falling around me and i couldnt do anything to stop it the day before i was scared to go and see her because she tried to pull all wires out her arm i felt like i was just standing there watching her fade away from me and all the things she did for me and i stood there watching her the night i got told i tried and i still cry at nights i feel all alone i have songs that remind me of her i have had a fall out with my friends and thats is all mixing with the pain of my nan and i have done some silly things like self harming that i am ashamed of i still have the scars but after i do it i feel stupid but then when im doing it its a relief ... i just needed someone to talk to and that may listen

Reply from:Claire

Subject:My nan

hey i dont think my first message got through. o well, my nan died on boxing day! it feels so weird without her n just reading your story.. i dno it was jst so similar to mine! i cry alot at night n i always cry when i think of her because it feels like shes coming bak but i realise she isnt....alot of my friends helped me through it n i cnt imagine it without them i probably wud ov self harmed aswell! just remind yourself that shes up there in heaven watching you! if you want any one to chat to about anything reply to me! i know what it feels like

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