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Message from: Chrissie - 07 Oct 03

Subject: My little brother

My little brother was killed in a freak accident on the 29th August this year. He was only 6. Me and my mum always fought so i had to live with my dad in december 2002. This meant that i missed my little brother's last christmas, birthday and family holiday. Me and my brother have different dads and my dad doesn't understand what it's like for me. i still have 2 little sisters living with my mum and im really missing them because i just want to be with them. Everybody expects me to be over it by now but i haven't even accepted it yet. All i do is cry. I miss him so much. He meant the world to me. He still does.

Subject: Chrissie

Dear Chrissie,
I can really understand how difficult it must be for you, being apart from your family at this terrible time. Have you been able to talk to your mum? Sometimes, sad things like this give us the opportunity we need to put stuff behind us and move towards the future together.

I've never lost a brother or sister, it must be especially hard because he was so young. I have lost both my parents and as time passess, it is getting easier. I'm starting to have good memories about them instead of sad ones, I hope you can start to feel this way too.

I also want to say, I think you must be very strong, I've read some of the messages you've posted for other people and they're so supportive, well done!!

Take care of yourself, I hope you can feel better soon.

Love 'n' hugs
Alexis
xxxxxx

Subject: Thanks Alexis

Hi Alexis. I just wanted to say thank you for replying to my message. I tried to sort things out with my mum but on the day of the funeral she walked behind the coffin with one of my sisters either side of her and left me on my own. My aunt walked with me in the end. its my birthday next week and i dont want it. it isnt going to be a happy day because im not going to be able to see my brother and only a few members of my family are talking to me. i stil cant accept that Harry has gone. everytime a see a photo of him i burst into tears because i can never see him again.

Subject: photos

hi alexis i just wanted to let you know that i have posted some pictures of my brother in the gallery. i would love it if u took a look at them. x

Subject: Pictures

Hi Chrissie,
I've had a look at the pics and they brought a tear to my eye.He's an angel. What a tragedy that a life so young and precious has been taken away. Maybe one day you will be able to look at those pictures and smile. Thank you for sharing them with me.

It's my birthday next week too, what day is yours? I know your day wont be amazing but I'll be thinking of you and I bet Harry will have a little smile for you, even if you can't see him.

Take Care
Alexis
xxxxxx

Subject: (no subject)

hi alexis. thanx 4 taking a look at the pictures. its my birthday on friday. i really don't want it. its not going to be happy. im back at school now and finding it difficult. i hate acting all happy infront of everyone, but i have to because otherwise people ask what's wrong and i don't want to talk about it. iv got my mock GCSEs in December and the real things nxt year so iv really got to get my head down and start working. i saw my little sisters on sunday which was really nice. i dont see them very often anymore. They're the only people that actually know how im feeling because they've been through exactly the same thing. Anyway, thank you for your messages. They really mean alot. luv chrissie x

Subject: Birthday

Hi Chrissie,
I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry you wont be able to enjoy your birthday, and you'll be 16 wont you? But in reality it is just a single 24 hours, I reckon it'll be over almost before you know it. Maybe you could persuade your dad to let you have the day off school and just spend it sleeping!

I'm so pleased you got to see your sisters on sunday, it must really help to spend time with them; like you say, only they know how you really feel. I wonder if it would be possible for you to arrange a regular thing to spend time with them? I think it might be nice to have it as part of your routine.

Since my dad died, I've seen much more of my brothers and sisters and it's nice that such a positive thing has come out of a really devastating time.

I know it must seem impossible right now but I want to wish you luck with your mocks, you may find they go better than you think.

Anyway, best go. You take care of yourself Chrissie and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Love 'n' Hugs
Alexis
xxxxxx

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