interact

poems

Grief

Ruth

My mum died nearly 2 years ago.
It has taken that long to accept what has happened.
This is how it felt.

Hurts…for a long time.
A stab in the heart. Painful. Confusing. So very painful.
The knife twists, and then turns very slowly, gouging a hole.
A big, grizzly, bloody hole. Gaping wide. So very wide. Leaving you vulnerable.

Where to go? Where to hide?
Face it!”, they say.
What does it mean? More confusion.

The pain resides. Latent. Manifesting when you’re tired and low.
Low, low; how low can you go?
Lower than you ever thought. To the deepest depths.

But you come up.
Slowly, you come up.
Maybe for a while down again, but then thankfully up.
Thank God for up.

Praise be for the small things.
The phone call you didn’t expect, the card with the loving words,
support from places you’d forgotten existed.
The sun, the trees, the bees. The warmth, being drawn near, enveloped.
Thank God.

Shed a tear. It makes you feel better!
The release, the sigh, the balance. Bounce back.
That’s how it goes!

Have faith. It’s a process. Time is the healer.
But take care. Really, I mean it. Take care! And you will come through.
You’ll never forget. God forbid. But you will come through.
Have faith, and wait patiently.
The sun WILL shine again.